An Antidote for the Sunday Scaries

Issue #39 · Read on to learn what your Occupational Contentment Quotient says about you!

Congratulations! We are delighted to inform you that you have been selected for the position of [inflated job title] with [soul-sucking corporate overlord]! We’re thrilled to offer you a generous starting salary of [$X, non-negotiable — much like your hours].

The scope of your role will range from monotonous busywork to crisis management, with no real distinction between the two. We promise to mask our lack of personal life boundaries (company policy) with a cushy corner cubicle and unlimited plastic silverware so that you can eat dinner at your desk anytime you’d like!

Last but not least, you’ll receive three full weeks of paid-time off that you must first accrue and will later never feel quite comfortable using. We’re confident that this position will provide just enough financial stability to keep you handcuffed to a cycle of existential dread, and too little time to reflect on what you actually want out of life.

Best,
-Management

It’s been six years since I hopped off the corporate ladder, and while I’ve certainly found joy in working on my own terms, I’d be lying if I said that I don’t sometimes feel the temptation of a stable, traditional career.

Last Friday around 5pm, when all of my friends met up for a drink to kick off the weekend, I stayed home to kick off the search for new freelance projects. I’ve forgotten what it means to unplug on vacation, and more weekends than not, my laptop and email inbox accompany my morning coffee. I’ve had to reel in my personal budget, navigate private health insurance and I’ve put several personal aspirations — like homeownership and motherhood — on the back burner.

But the thing is, even with all of these sacrifices, struggles and scrambles — I’m never going back. Without fail, every time I casually log onto LinkedIn to browse full-time roles “just to see what’s out there,” I end up slamming my laptop shut 20 minutes later with a renewed appreciation for my independent lifestyle. 

Surprisingly, it’s not the actual freelance work itself that’s made a difference in my overall job satisfaction — I still have deadlines, clients to answer to, tedious tasks and the occasional late-night emergency project. What has made a massive difference however, is having autonomy over when and how much I work, which in turn, has provided the flexibility and time to be able to pursue a number of other personal interests: extended travel, learning a new language, writing online, launching a few indie projects, and picking up a couple of other new hobbies.

For me, having freedom over my daily routine is more valuable than any annual raise or hefty bonus that I ever received in my former corporate life. Sure, I’m not the proud owner of a four-bedroom rancher nor do I have a shiny new Lexus in its driveway, but I also haven’t had a case of the Sunday Scaries in six years — and I plan to keep it that way.

Now, contrary to what you might expect, I actually believe that money does in fact buy happiness. Obviously, there’s a minimum threshold that we all must earn in order to cover basic needs and maintain a comfortable enough lifestyle. But there comes a tipping point when we should also evaluate the psychological costs and emotional toll of devoting our lives to a job — because even the most lucrative, prestigious careers can be overshadowed by an unbearable schedule or an unfulfilling daily grind.

I so wish that we were able to easily quantify happiness¹ just like we can quantify a salary, because I bet many people would reshuffle their priorities:

“Yeah, Harry raked in $220k last year, but his Occupational Contentment Quotient (OCQ)™ was a meager 14 out of 100… bleak.”

Perhaps Harry would reconsider things if he realized the incredible irony in working a job, to pay for a car, that he only uses to drive to work.

Okay, okay. In all seriousness, part of me does get it — shit is expensive and we adults need to pay for it all somehow! But the thing is, the more time we spend grinding to pay for our lives, the less opportunity we have to pursue things that actually make us feel alive. It’s the missed moments with our families, the hobbies that gather dust, the dreams that get postponed, and the wondering where all the years went. And for what? More money in the bank, but less life actually lived?

I’m not recommending that anyone abruptly quit their job George Costanza style, but it’s important to thoughtfully consider how we allocate our time in order to avoid falling into the eat, sleep, spreadsheet, repeat abyss.

In fact, I believe that the best antidote for the Sunday Scaries is just that: breaking up the monotony of any regular old week with things outside of work that light you up and bring you joy. You could join a book club! Enroll in vocal lessons! Start a community garden! Volunteer at an animal shelter! Learn to meditate! Take an improv class! Write poetry! Jump on the pickleball bandwagon! Wander around your local Michael’s Craft Store and see what you are inexplicably drawn to! This antidote is available without a prescription and the recommended dosage is completely your choice.

Importantly, this can be done while still working a full-time job — I’ve obviously taken it to the extreme with my sometimes “intentionally underemployed” freelance schedule, but it was only in doing so that I realized just how profoundly fulfilling and soul-enriching my new hobbies and creative projects are. By making a conscious effort to prioritize personal time, pursue our passions, and emphasize play, we are bound to rediscover an energy and enthusiasm for the everyday — these side quests are the seasoning that make life even more delicious.

“But Emily, I also have two young kids at home, I don’t have time for a shower, much less a new hobby!” Look, clearly I have no standing in this arena, but after chatting with so many of my mom-friends, I’d argue that it might actually be even more crucial for parents to carve out at least an hour or two each week for themselves, and themselves only. Everyone should have something that helps them crawl out of bed when their morning alarm goes off, and for most people, conference call marathons and inbox tsunami surfing ain’t it.

I realize that I probably put a higher value on free time than most people — everyone’s threshold is different when it comes to the income vs. hours matrix. And while there’s nothing wrong with being career focused, it’s important to keep in mind that work is a bottomless game, with the only finish line being retirement — and I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to wait until I’m 65 to begin savoring life.

Have I earned less and taken on more risk than had I kept working my corporate finance job I left back in 2018? Yes. But has designating time to embark on side quests, new hobbies and passion projects brought me more happiness and fulfillment in the long run? No question.

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Recommended related posts:

• Finding My “Next Thing” — Get in loser, we’re going to find new adult hobbies!

• The Modern-Day Mission Trip — The origin story of my passion for side quests.

• Celestial Enlightenment — More encouragement to do things simply because they make us feel a zest for life.

PS: I’d love to hear what you thought about this issue. Email me directly at hello@emilyannhill.com and I pinky promise I’ll reply back.

1. Since 2008, Bhutan has officially used a metric called Gross National Happiness (GNH) to measure the well-being of its citizens and guide national policy, making happiness a core part of the country's socioeconomic vision. I wonder if they brag about it on LinkedIn?