Plain Croissants and Missed Opportunities

Issue #47 · Comfort zones should be a cushion, not a life sentence.

Hi there, I’m Emily! 🙋🏼‍♀️ For those who are new, here’s a quick catch-up:

Five years ago, I packed my life into a suitcase and hit the road, moving to a new city every few months. Now, I write stories about the quirks, chaos and realities of living abroad, intertwined with my attempt to design a happy, meaningful life.

If you enjoy this post, stick around — something big is coming later in 2025!

Plain Croissants and Missed Opportunities

Last Friday morning, I sat down at my favorite table at one of my favorite bakeries, excited for a catch-up with an old friend that I hadn’t seen in a while. The waiter approached, and before I could mention that I was waiting for my friend to arrive, he asked, “Your usual?”

It caught me totally off guard — sure, I do stop by this spot often, and this particular waiter always greets me with a smile. But I didn’t think I had achieved the status of being “one of the regulars” quite yet.

Perhaps my go-to order — a latte and a plain croissant — is a bit uninspired and easy to recall. But sheeeesh, for as much as I take pride in my sense of adventure, rejecting the status quo, and claiming to be allergic to monotony, when did I become so…. predictable?

Now, I guess it’s not totally my fault. Humans are hardwired to seek familiarity. We gravitate toward routines and we’re creatures of habit for a reason. Repetition creates rhythm, and our rituals provide us with a sense of control in a world otherwise full of an overwhelming amount of choice. It’s often just a matter of preference or practicality: That Friday lunch spot with the tasty B.L.T., that drive-thru coffee shop that’s conveniently on the way to work, that well-trodden running route that strategically dodges the big hill on the north side of the park. We get our hair cut at the same salon, take our car to the same mechanic, and shop at the same grocery store because we know what to expect — that the same brand of peanut butter that we’ve been buying for two decades will be on the left-hand side of aisle nine.

On a biological level, this helps us conserve cognitive energy and move through life with minimal friction. After all, why reinvent the wheel when our wheels are already parked in that same shady corner spot, just where we like them? Why risk rolling the dice on the unfamiliar and untested? Comfort zones are just that — comfortable. The boats shall remain unrocked, apple carts undisturbed, thank you very much.

But by refusing to roll said dice, we also run the risk of getting stuck in a cycle of stagnancy. Familiarity may keep us sane and settled to a degree, but it’s also why we stay in jobs we dislike, relationships we’re unhappy in, and places we’ve outgrown. It’s a fine line, but it’s crucial to recognize when we are clinging to familiarity simply because of the sense of security it provides. Oftentimes, the fear of the unknown seems worse than any discomfort that comes with staying put.

Now, this is a major Emily, practice what you f@#king preach moment, because as evidenced by my bland-ass croissant above, I’m a sucker for playing it safe. Sure, I realize that my whole “life without a fixed address” thing might seem pretty adventurous to most people, but here’s the irony: With the inherent potential for chaos that comes with living abroad, I’ve often found myself clinging even tighter to the routines I am able to recreate no matter what country I’m in.

It’s a strange paradox — choosing a lifestyle that constantly forces me outside of my comfort zone while simultaneously seeking the refuge of predictability. I mean, what’s even the point of traveling 4,000 miles halfway around the globe if I’m just going to try to recreate my life from back home?

And how many experiences have I missed out on because, instead, I chose to do [that thing I do at the same time every day]? How many opportunities have knocked, only to be ignored because I resisted change? How many chance encounters have slipped right past me that, if I weren’t plagued by my morning routine tunnel vision, could have shifted the trajectory of my day? Probably more than I’d like to admit.

But change is hard, and humans are stubborn. In fact, right now, as I’m finishing typing up this essay, guess what — I’m back at that same bakery, and like a complete and utter hypocrite, I just ordered that same latte and same god damn plain croissant from that same friendly waiter.

This time, however, I was served up a minor plot twist:

“Sorry — we just ran out of plain croissants. Can I get you something else?” he apologetically asked.

Laughing at the universe’s not-so-subtle hint to spice things up, the decision felt easy:

“Surprise me.”

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Recommended related posts:

• Follow Me to Weird Places — An invitation to throw your rigid itinerary in the trash before your next trip (even if that means leaving your comfort zone).

• A New City Every Month: An Experiment in Change — How changing up our surroundings can lead to unexpected shifts in personality, energy, and perspectives.

• Celestial Enlightenment — Why not do more things simply because they make us feel a zest for life?

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