I agree with so much of what you say. We’re currently living for a few months in Spain and know we have stepped off our normal spending merry go round. I think it is partly due to the fact that the weather is good so we walk and exercise more, there is just the two of us so we are socialising less…but I also think it’s to do with being less exposed to advertising/marketing. I don’t know much Spanish so watch little local TV, I look less at social media but read more books. We sleep well so are not sleep deprived. We’re relaxed so feel no need to ‘treat ourselves’ to things we ‘deserve’. It will be interesting to see how I go on once we are back in the UK
You raise some really interesting points! I agree, the language barrier for sure plays a role in not feeling as pressured to keep up with the Joneses. The sunny weather and outdoor public spaces absolutely help me unintentionally spend less, too!
I grew up in suburban italy in the 90s and early 2000s. My parents were working class, but they had free time at the weekend and we would frequently do something nice together: walks, hikes, sightseeing, visiting old friends… If we were going for a drive to the countryside or the beach at the weekend, we would bring some sandwiches or pasta salad in a Tupperware with us. My parents still use those very tupperware. There were restaurants there— we just actually preferred to eat our home made food because it was delicious. Sometimes we would indulge in a coffee at a bar on the way and the coffee would be drank from a ceramic cup and it would cost few cents. I hadn‘t had a coffee to go ever before moving to Germany in my early twenties. I don‘t intend to preach the „everything was better back in the days“—it‘s not comparable. It just saddens me to recognize how urban pollution, climate crisis, inflation and an overall impoverishment of most of the population (compelled to work double shifts to make ends meet, coming home exhausted, doomscrolling on social media…) have made this earlier lifestyle become exclusive, almost elitist…
Nothing like a good introvert season! Related to so much of this. Love the term “lifestyle pruning”. Living in a small town in the US did this for me in a big way. Partially because I reset my “hedonic” treadmill and now find all the accoutrements of living in a somewhat bigger so much more exciting. Not to mention the (free) beauty of being outside.
I would also like to say that the kids on line making the “I can’t afford to exist” content also can’t afford to exist. It’s sad to see how much consumerism has only popped off and soooo many people are in debt trying to keep up with the alleged LA stay at home moms (who are also in debt!). I totally support spending on what you love, but I think you point out how when you’re not in those bubbles, it’s easier to see how it’s less driven by love and more by something else. Great piece!
Lollll your point that the LA stay at home moms are also in debt is so valid. And yeah, I agree that it's definitely a factor of escaping the bubble to be able to see the bubble! Thanks for reading :)
Love the idea of lifestyle pruning. In material things, in digital and visual clutter, and more. This always brings me back to Greg McKeown's book Essentialism.
Also, I miss the bike lanes in Valencia and the massive fleet of sand volleyball courts.
Love this!! I find that another thing keeps me from the allure of overconsumption: I literally cannot fit anything else in my suitcase. No shopping allowed for me! True nomad problems.
The thing is, it takes so long to learn how to reset and naturally adapt a more minimalist mindset. In North America, we're conditioned to do the opposite.
I never bought into this (capitalist) concept, which is why I started a life of travel in the first place. And along the way, I learned that is truly is liberating, and unfortunately many people are doing it all wrong. But, there's hope! It starts with unlearning. This is when we can truly grow.
Love this concept of pruning! That gives me a framework for how much of a misfit I feel when I look at my budget. I’m thrifty in many areas so I can splurge in others. Pruning one branch allows another to flourish. :)
Thank you for this. I didn't realize that bike lanes are a major part of the city infrastructure-- that's really great to hear.
My partner and I are in the process of choosing "our spot" in Europe. We're headed to Valencia (after 5 weeks in Lisbon) next week. I know you're now back in Mexico, but may I ask if Valencia is still a place you're considering?
It sure is! I’m heading back in mid-May for several months, and considering applying for a long-term visa later this year. It’s a great little city, let me know if you need any reccs!
Travel does give you different perspectives on what is normal, necessary or desirable. I used to live in Cambodia, and it taught me all this and more. The acid test would be can we implement our learning back in the crazy world of uber consumerism?
I find that my habits do tend to stick when I go back “home”, but I am certainly much more aware of them and it’s not as natural. It’s really wild how much our immediate environment influences our behavior, right?
This hits so hard. We moved from the US to Mexico 7 years ago and are grateful every day we made the move. The consumerism there is outta control. A $23 smoothie? $45 for a barre class? $170 for exercise clothes? Yes, people have definitely lost their minds.
Just stumbled across this post via notes and 100% agree. I moved from the UK to Singapore over a decade and while the crazy consumerism habits are here too, and there's a lot of money moving around the city-state, it's a choice of whether to participate. It's equally easy to spend next to nothing on fresh, local food, spend time in the numerous parks, use the free outdoor non-motorised gym equipment they scatter around the housing blocks, and get plenty of vitamin d from the weather. I definitely prefer to lifestyle, but am for sure guilty of the occasional Amazon overspend, swiftly followed by deleting the app for a couple of weeks!
I just found this article and I can relate so much to it despite staying in a high cost of living city. I learned to cut my budget when I was laid off and I weirdly don’t even have any interest in going back. I make my own food much more because it tastes better than it sitting in a car - the savings are just a bonus. I don’t really like shopping anymore. I don’t get coffee out because I learned I like the way I make it special at home most of the time. I don’t even really travel as much because there’s a lot of stuff I want to work on that requires some consistency - and I don’t think this represents most people but I realized a lot of my “travel” was more just escapism. The only downside is it is genuinely alienating because I can’t unsee how much my friends’ social lives and free time just revolves around spending money!
I’m right there with you on most of this. I’m certainly guilty of the travel as escapism thing, but on the bright side, living in so many different places has allowed me to unearth my ideal lifestyle — much of the types of things you described about preferring simplicity.
I completely agree! I think I mentioned to you that I'm also planning to move Valencia this year. I fell in love with it for all the same reasons and more. I liked the cuisine more than I expected, too. By the way, definitely make sure you visit the arts and sciences centre. I left it until the end of my 3-week reccy trip and when I actually got there I couldn't believe I hadn't been there yet. It's so unbelievably impressive!!!
I enjoyed the article and love a European lifestyle too. However I think the perks of enjoying a European lifestyle are from having American purchasing power.
Europeans don’t live extravagantly because they have no money. Taxes and low wages leave little for them to spend on so they haven’t developed a consumerist mindset.
Americans on the other hand had relatively affordable living until 2020 when everything jumped 40% on average. Now they’re spending their way into debt to keep up with a way of life that was instilled years ago but is no longer prudent.
Hard disagree on most of this, and saying that “Europeans don’t live extravagantly because they have no money” is a gross stereotype (and the kind of thing that gives Americans a pretty horrific reputation abroad). Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t consider taking my gas-guzzling SUV to a Starbucks drive thru for an $8 sugar-filled latte “living extravagantly” — even though this is very much the cultural norm in the states.
It also feels like you've missed a major point of my essay. While yes, earning in dollars surely gives me an advantage over local wages, what’s been more impactful is that the hobbies and things I fill my daily routine with *simply happen to be* free. This is due to a greater emphasis on community spaces/third places, better public amenities, and several other cultural differences (like how you can linger at a sidewalk cafe because the waiter isn’t trying to turn tables). Here, unlike in the U.S., there are opportunities to enjoy life without being pressured to consume.
I’m not sure why, but it always seems like Americans are quick with the explanations for “why things are” rather than learning from other cultures and being open to “how things could be." Maybe a topic to dive into another day.
When you live in a city with shit weather, the only thing you can do is to consume: Food, coffee, entertainment.
If you are in nature with good weather, what else do you need? Maybe a book, which lasts you for hours. You go for walks, hikes. That's it. That's why the places with good weather are generally poorer or the people have no big ambition.
<<In Spain, Mexico and nearly every other country I’ve lived in, that hyper-consumerist, convenience-driven behavior so common among Americans is practically nonexistent. Nobody has a $735/month2 car payment, mindlessly strolling the aisles of Target is not a weekly ritual, Amazon boxes don’t pile up on doorsteps, and if you want a collagen-infused smoothie, you’ll definitely have to DIY it.>>
Idk what circles you move in, but literally nobody I know lives like that. I’m in central Illinois.
I haven’t had a car payment in ages — my car is 20 years old. I go to Target about once a month for stuff like toothpaste and socks. I make my smoothies at home. What you describe is not an American thing; it is a rich American thing. And it’s out of reach for more than half of Americans. By all means, enjoy Valencia, but you can avoid blowing money wherever you live.
The point of my article was to highlight that I have intentionally chosen not to run in those circles. But yes, they absolutely exist, for both rich and non-rich Americans alike.
The $735 average car payment is a national statistic from Experian, not an exaggerated stereotype. More power to you for (like me!) choosing to live in a place and in a way that allows for a more reasonable lifestyle.
However, that doesn't change the fact that the “hyper-consumerism and convenience-driven culture” are undeniably part of the broader American experience. Whether you live in Santa Monica or Central Illinois likely affects the degree to which you see it — in fact, for me, living outside of the American bubble entirely is what allowed me to recognize how deeply ingrained in our culture this mindset is.
I agree with so much of what you say. We’re currently living for a few months in Spain and know we have stepped off our normal spending merry go round. I think it is partly due to the fact that the weather is good so we walk and exercise more, there is just the two of us so we are socialising less…but I also think it’s to do with being less exposed to advertising/marketing. I don’t know much Spanish so watch little local TV, I look less at social media but read more books. We sleep well so are not sleep deprived. We’re relaxed so feel no need to ‘treat ourselves’ to things we ‘deserve’. It will be interesting to see how I go on once we are back in the UK
You raise some really interesting points! I agree, the language barrier for sure plays a role in not feeling as pressured to keep up with the Joneses. The sunny weather and outdoor public spaces absolutely help me unintentionally spend less, too!
I grew up in suburban italy in the 90s and early 2000s. My parents were working class, but they had free time at the weekend and we would frequently do something nice together: walks, hikes, sightseeing, visiting old friends… If we were going for a drive to the countryside or the beach at the weekend, we would bring some sandwiches or pasta salad in a Tupperware with us. My parents still use those very tupperware. There were restaurants there— we just actually preferred to eat our home made food because it was delicious. Sometimes we would indulge in a coffee at a bar on the way and the coffee would be drank from a ceramic cup and it would cost few cents. I hadn‘t had a coffee to go ever before moving to Germany in my early twenties. I don‘t intend to preach the „everything was better back in the days“—it‘s not comparable. It just saddens me to recognize how urban pollution, climate crisis, inflation and an overall impoverishment of most of the population (compelled to work double shifts to make ends meet, coming home exhausted, doomscrolling on social media…) have made this earlier lifestyle become exclusive, almost elitist…
Something just never sat right with me about the concept of buying a car… to drive to work… to pay for the car…
Nothing like a good introvert season! Related to so much of this. Love the term “lifestyle pruning”. Living in a small town in the US did this for me in a big way. Partially because I reset my “hedonic” treadmill and now find all the accoutrements of living in a somewhat bigger so much more exciting. Not to mention the (free) beauty of being outside.
I would also like to say that the kids on line making the “I can’t afford to exist” content also can’t afford to exist. It’s sad to see how much consumerism has only popped off and soooo many people are in debt trying to keep up with the alleged LA stay at home moms (who are also in debt!). I totally support spending on what you love, but I think you point out how when you’re not in those bubbles, it’s easier to see how it’s less driven by love and more by something else. Great piece!
Lollll your point that the LA stay at home moms are also in debt is so valid. And yeah, I agree that it's definitely a factor of escaping the bubble to be able to see the bubble! Thanks for reading :)
Love the idea of lifestyle pruning. In material things, in digital and visual clutter, and more. This always brings me back to Greg McKeown's book Essentialism.
Also, I miss the bike lanes in Valencia and the massive fleet of sand volleyball courts.
Yes!! I think doing a pass through my digital clutter might be overdue. Adding that book to my reading list — Valencia misses you too!!
Essentialism was life changing!!! Spot on and wish it had been out when I was younger.
Love this!! I find that another thing keeps me from the allure of overconsumption: I literally cannot fit anything else in my suitcase. No shopping allowed for me! True nomad problems.
It's been one in, one out for four years lol
The thing is, it takes so long to learn how to reset and naturally adapt a more minimalist mindset. In North America, we're conditioned to do the opposite.
I never bought into this (capitalist) concept, which is why I started a life of travel in the first place. And along the way, I learned that is truly is liberating, and unfortunately many people are doing it all wrong. But, there's hope! It starts with unlearning. This is when we can truly grow.
Love this concept of pruning! That gives me a framework for how much of a misfit I feel when I look at my budget. I’m thrifty in many areas so I can splurge in others. Pruning one branch allows another to flourish. :)
Thank you for this. I didn't realize that bike lanes are a major part of the city infrastructure-- that's really great to hear.
My partner and I are in the process of choosing "our spot" in Europe. We're headed to Valencia (after 5 weeks in Lisbon) next week. I know you're now back in Mexico, but may I ask if Valencia is still a place you're considering?
It sure is! I’m heading back in mid-May for several months, and considering applying for a long-term visa later this year. It’s a great little city, let me know if you need any reccs!
Thanks, Emily! That's great to know. Do you have a favorite neighborhood?
Ruzafa or anywhere within a 10-15 min walk of it would be my recc!
Travel does give you different perspectives on what is normal, necessary or desirable. I used to live in Cambodia, and it taught me all this and more. The acid test would be can we implement our learning back in the crazy world of uber consumerism?
I find that my habits do tend to stick when I go back “home”, but I am certainly much more aware of them and it’s not as natural. It’s really wild how much our immediate environment influences our behavior, right?
Yes, culture is so influential, even on a subconscious level!
This hits so hard. We moved from the US to Mexico 7 years ago and are grateful every day we made the move. The consumerism there is outta control. A $23 smoothie? $45 for a barre class? $170 for exercise clothes? Yes, people have definitely lost their minds.
Just stumbled across this post via notes and 100% agree. I moved from the UK to Singapore over a decade and while the crazy consumerism habits are here too, and there's a lot of money moving around the city-state, it's a choice of whether to participate. It's equally easy to spend next to nothing on fresh, local food, spend time in the numerous parks, use the free outdoor non-motorised gym equipment they scatter around the housing blocks, and get plenty of vitamin d from the weather. I definitely prefer to lifestyle, but am for sure guilty of the occasional Amazon overspend, swiftly followed by deleting the app for a couple of weeks!
I just found this article and I can relate so much to it despite staying in a high cost of living city. I learned to cut my budget when I was laid off and I weirdly don’t even have any interest in going back. I make my own food much more because it tastes better than it sitting in a car - the savings are just a bonus. I don’t really like shopping anymore. I don’t get coffee out because I learned I like the way I make it special at home most of the time. I don’t even really travel as much because there’s a lot of stuff I want to work on that requires some consistency - and I don’t think this represents most people but I realized a lot of my “travel” was more just escapism. The only downside is it is genuinely alienating because I can’t unsee how much my friends’ social lives and free time just revolves around spending money!
I’m right there with you on most of this. I’m certainly guilty of the travel as escapism thing, but on the bright side, living in so many different places has allowed me to unearth my ideal lifestyle — much of the types of things you described about preferring simplicity.
I completely agree! I think I mentioned to you that I'm also planning to move Valencia this year. I fell in love with it for all the same reasons and more. I liked the cuisine more than I expected, too. By the way, definitely make sure you visit the arts and sciences centre. I left it until the end of my 3-week reccy trip and when I actually got there I couldn't believe I hadn't been there yet. It's so unbelievably impressive!!!
I enjoyed the article and love a European lifestyle too. However I think the perks of enjoying a European lifestyle are from having American purchasing power.
Europeans don’t live extravagantly because they have no money. Taxes and low wages leave little for them to spend on so they haven’t developed a consumerist mindset.
Americans on the other hand had relatively affordable living until 2020 when everything jumped 40% on average. Now they’re spending their way into debt to keep up with a way of life that was instilled years ago but is no longer prudent.
Hard disagree on most of this, and saying that “Europeans don’t live extravagantly because they have no money” is a gross stereotype (and the kind of thing that gives Americans a pretty horrific reputation abroad). Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t consider taking my gas-guzzling SUV to a Starbucks drive thru for an $8 sugar-filled latte “living extravagantly” — even though this is very much the cultural norm in the states.
It also feels like you've missed a major point of my essay. While yes, earning in dollars surely gives me an advantage over local wages, what’s been more impactful is that the hobbies and things I fill my daily routine with *simply happen to be* free. This is due to a greater emphasis on community spaces/third places, better public amenities, and several other cultural differences (like how you can linger at a sidewalk cafe because the waiter isn’t trying to turn tables). Here, unlike in the U.S., there are opportunities to enjoy life without being pressured to consume.
I’m not sure why, but it always seems like Americans are quick with the explanations for “why things are” rather than learning from other cultures and being open to “how things could be." Maybe a topic to dive into another day.
When you live in a city with shit weather, the only thing you can do is to consume: Food, coffee, entertainment.
If you are in nature with good weather, what else do you need? Maybe a book, which lasts you for hours. You go for walks, hikes. That's it. That's why the places with good weather are generally poorer or the people have no big ambition.
<<In Spain, Mexico and nearly every other country I’ve lived in, that hyper-consumerist, convenience-driven behavior so common among Americans is practically nonexistent. Nobody has a $735/month2 car payment, mindlessly strolling the aisles of Target is not a weekly ritual, Amazon boxes don’t pile up on doorsteps, and if you want a collagen-infused smoothie, you’ll definitely have to DIY it.>>
Idk what circles you move in, but literally nobody I know lives like that. I’m in central Illinois.
I haven’t had a car payment in ages — my car is 20 years old. I go to Target about once a month for stuff like toothpaste and socks. I make my smoothies at home. What you describe is not an American thing; it is a rich American thing. And it’s out of reach for more than half of Americans. By all means, enjoy Valencia, but you can avoid blowing money wherever you live.
The point of my article was to highlight that I have intentionally chosen not to run in those circles. But yes, they absolutely exist, for both rich and non-rich Americans alike.
The $735 average car payment is a national statistic from Experian, not an exaggerated stereotype. More power to you for (like me!) choosing to live in a place and in a way that allows for a more reasonable lifestyle.
However, that doesn't change the fact that the “hyper-consumerism and convenience-driven culture” are undeniably part of the broader American experience. Whether you live in Santa Monica or Central Illinois likely affects the degree to which you see it — in fact, for me, living outside of the American bubble entirely is what allowed me to recognize how deeply ingrained in our culture this mindset is.